Time

18 Jun

Time is at the center for communal life.  It is the one tool that coordinates the lives of numerous people.  Our needs and desires can’t be met whenever we wish.  We have to balance our goals with the availability of others, who we need to achieve those goals.  So we have calendars and clocks as our language.  Time is the format of our existences.

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I am walking Olivia down a dirt road on the ridge of several mountains on the outskirts of Silverton, Colorado.  Silverton is a former mining town in the valley of mountains.  I have never seen a village like this before.  It’s now a tourist attraction because of a steam train that comes here and mine tours.

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The two streets were lined with gift shops that were once saloons and brothels.  One side was the respectable street and the other had the brothels.  But there were underground tunnels that would take from a respectable saloon to a whorehouse.  This way you could keep your public image in tact while indulging yourself.  Isn’t that where we meet our desires, in the dark secret places?  I am pretty sure it was more interesting back then.  We have been in this area for a few hours yet we have seen a few other cars.  I am allowing Olivia to walk wherever she wishes.  She is mighty happy and is in her own world.  The walk takes me through our journey in my mind.  I begin to think of how long we have been on the road.  I know its been six weeks because Sarah told me earlier.  Has it experientially felt like six weeks to me?  I try to compare how I calculated time when I was working and stationary.  I thought well back then I calculated experiences between times.  For example, I knew when I had a commitment at work such a court appearance or a deposition then I would think when will that finish and when will I be meeting up with friends.  That’s not to say that I do not enjoy my profession.  For me, I experienced time as things I needed to do versus things I wanted to do.

Now, I don’t work on time and dates.  We decide what to do and we do it.  It happens instantly without too much if any future planning.  I am no longer accessing the present time and waiting a future time.  Time unfolds in a continuum without breaks.  We still have need and want activities but they now blend together.  A solidified life is more enjoyable.  When I compartmentalized time it felt like a battle between dislikes and likes.  During that period I would try to create more likes to drown out the dislikes.  I still have like and dislikes but the time battle is not in play.

Before I return to society I hope I will continue to approach time the same way, have a wiser mindset, or devote my time to the things that give me joy.

I woke up to a rancher knocking on our door.  Where we camped for the night was in front of his entrance and he had a trailer full of horses waiting to get on his land.  He was not upset at all and rather friendly.   This reminds me of a place we parked in the hills of Santa Fe.  The following morning, this guy with a ponytail driving a Mini comes towards me gesturing for me to come to him.  He says “Cool rig, this is my land you can stay here but don’t leave any trash.”  I told him it was a nice property.  He retorted, “Go sell some weed and buy it.”  I didn’t know if that was his opinion on how I existed or he thought selling weed is good business.

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We get on the road to find the mountain pass, which we were driving on, covered with cyclists.  This road was narrow, full of switchbacks, steep declines and ascents.  I have to drive the truck in second gear to control our speed on the descents.  If not the brakes will overheat and give out.  It’s nerves racking to say the least since I’m figuring out all this as I drive.  Of course I’m worried about the transmissions burning up or the coolant system springing another leak while having to concern myself with cyclists and rushed drivers.

Living out of a truck has its own set of problems.  A couple of days ago we take the truck off-road on windy mountains dirt rock roads.  We neglect to carefully read the map at the start of the trail and we get lost for a few hours going ten miles an hour.  We had stellar views all to our selves.  Things seem to carry greater value when they are exclusive.  Two elks ran in front of Skyhorse.  They were three times the size of deer.  Later on we saw big old boy buck.  He was magnificent and twice the size of the other elks.  Chipmunks were scurrying all along the path.  A few deer popped out to look at us.

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Once we exit the Rio Grande forest roads right outside of Del Norte, CO I smell something burning.  Well I smelled it before and was too negligent to do anything.  I stop and lift the hood.  The turbo was smoking because some oil seeped out.  We park for the night while I read the truck service manual trying to figure out if there was a problem.  Next morning we start up fine.  But I can’t get the truck over 45mph and my rpms are limited.  I stop at a mechanic, the only one I see.  Its Saturday, no one is open, and this mechanic doesn’t work on diesels and he’s just in the shop doing a personal project.  He tells me the seepage is fine but he doesn’t know what’s wrong and to come back Monday when the diesel mechanic is in.  He thinks it may the turbo so I think to drive to Napa and try to source the part.  At Napa they can’t find a turbo in their computer.  Eventually they find one and its $1200 and I’ll see it on Tuesday.  Now we are looking at staying four to five days in this nothing town and losing $1500 (with it installed).  I stay at Napa trying to talk to many people to get their opinions while using their Internet signal to find a better priced turbo.  After a few hours I talk to this guy who seemed to have experience with motors.  He told me how to test the turbo.  I do the inspection and its fine.  I go back to him and he follows me to the truck.  He checks it himself and confirms they turbo is fine.  He believes I’m not getting enough fuel and that’s why we are sluggish.  He tells me to replace the six week old fuel filter.  He was spot on.  I wished he had stayed to watch the truck back on the road so I could thank him profusely.

One Response to “Time”

  1. gatorgirlart June 20, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

    I am an avid follower of your blog.

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